"I don't know how much more I can take" I whispered under my breath. "The weight is crushing me."
"You want to tell me about that?" God said as He walked over and sat beside me.
"I'm weary", I stated rather matter of factly. "My mind is consumed with worry and concern, and I can't stretch myself thin enough. I see what needs fixing, but it's too big and overwhelming so I shut down and avoid it...all of it. But my brain doesn't seem to realize my heart is in "over my head". It just keeps reminding me about the "mountain of hopeless-mess" that's staring me in the face. I feel like I'm drowning in the emotional sea of life".
God didn't say anything. He just listened and leaned in a little closer to pull me into a hug. We sat completely silent for a really long time, and my anxiety melted like ice cream in the heat of the summer sun. I love sitting with God. Having Him with me is as calming as the waves crashing on the ocean shore, and as warm and comforting as an oversized soft blanket straight from the clothes dryer. With God beside me, nothing feels overwhemling or scary. He is my best friend.
Then quietly, the answer came. "My child, change your view. Let the burden you carry go...this isn't about you. You are not that powerful. Give up your selfish pride. This test is for someone else. You must stand aside."
Sometimes I do find myself feeling extreme sadness, anger or even fear, about how circumstances surrounding other people are affecting me. The emotion consumes me and I find I've made myself to be a victim of their circumstances. Time and time again, I make it "all about me". But I'm discovering there is wisdom in learning not to internalize other people's trials. While God does expect us to "mourn with those that mourn" and "comfort those that stand in need of comfort", we must not stand in the way while He lifts and comforts, and strengthens and teaches in a way that only He has the power to do.
