You Just Are

"I've learned something really important spending all of this time with you," I said to God as He walked quietly at my side. " Actually, I've learned a lot of important things...but one lesson stands far and above the rest in my mind."

"Anything you'd like to share?" His eyes twinkled as He looked over in my direction and smiled.

"I've learned how important I am to you. I used to wonder if you had time for me...if you knew and understood how I feel, what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what kinds of things I struggle with. I imagined you had a lot more important things to handle, what with running the universe and all. But I've discovered I am the center of your universe...along with every other human being. I know you love me, that you cherish me...that I, we, are the very reason you do what you do. That's the reason you always show up when I need you. I never have to beg or plead...you just come. And comfort. And support. And encourage. You see everything good and wonderful and amazing in me. You know me. You know all about me...the good, the bad, and the ugly. And you still love me and want to spend time with me. And I'm grateful beyond my ability to adequately express."

God stopped and turned to face me, taking my hands in His. A tear trickled down His cheek as He stood staring deeply into my eyes. "I love everything about you," He whispered. And nothing more needed to be said.

Stand Fast in This Liberty

"Ugh. Sometimes it's so hard to focus. There are so many voices calling out to me to go this direction or that. You're stupid if you "go there",  if I were in your shoes I'd do this, or if you really knew what was best you'd do this instead. I try so hard to respect the well intended opinions of those who speak up because they care, and to silence the obnoxiously outspoken committee in my head, but sometimes it all gets too loud and overwhelming. My heart and my head begin to doubt what I'm doing, what I'm feeling, and the confidence with which I intentionally move forward. Some days it's just so overpowering, as though a pillow were being suffocatingly shoved into my face. I can't breathe. I can't think. I can't function. I can't feel the comforting peace I've come to recognize and crave so deeply."

"I hear you", God said as He sat down beside me, wrapping me in a warm, tight hug. "But let me remind you, dear, to stand fast, and be firm and unwavering in this place I've brought you to, out of the "bondage" I've freed you from. Don't let your guard down. Don't cave under the pressure or temptation to do contrary to what I've told you. Let NO ONE decide for you what next step to take, or advise you on what's best in your present circumstances. Stay true to your desire to listen to me, to follow my plan for you...no matter what ANYONE else thinks or says. I'm right here. We're taking this journey together. When it gets hard, or confusing, or exhausting, when you want to quit or throw your hands up and walk away, reach out and take my hand instead. I love you. You'll NEVER have to do this alone."

As little as a few years ago, I couldn't comprehend how to reach out and take God's hand. Some of my life's situations have found me in seemingly "helpless" circumstances, where it's been sometimes all too easy to succumb to fear, to be angry at the unfairness of the situation, to be overcome with panic as I sense my inability to escape, or to fall victim to feelings of hopelessness and despair. But I've learned to be still and reach out to God with faith and courage, to turn to Him first, with the expectation that He is ALWAYS there...listening, comforting, teaching me, and never failing to bless me in my time of need. I no longer find myself scrambling to find someone to talk to, who will listen and be trusted to keep confidences; to understand and extend a listening ear and compassionate heart. No matter what, I know I can always depend on God. He NEVER fails to come through with exactly what I need. God's help and strength, love and compassion, comfort and peace are ALWAYS mine for the asking. His is the only voice that can perfectly lead me to peace and safety for my soul.

Because With Him Nothing is Impossible

"I can't believe how far I've come. What an incredible journey this has been. I wouldn't wish the harshness of the experience on anyone, but I wouldn't trade the blessings or the growth."

"You've worked hard", God said as He sat down and pulled me a little closer. "I knew this was going to be rough on you, but telling you that up front would have likely sent you running carelessly to retreat in fear."

"It has been a struggle...a bit of a hardship. I've had to do some things that were very hard for me, that forced me way out of my comfort zone. I've had some humbling experiences and learned some harsh, but necessary lessons. I've experienced huge bouts of anxiety and landed hard in the bottom of the pit of depression. I've floundered and stumbled, and at times I've fallen on my face. But you've always been there to pick me up and dust me off and walked beside me until I could be on my way again."

"You're so much stronger mentally and emotionally", He said as He hugged me. "You have greater courage, you are more resilient, and so much more patient with people and life...and with me. You've learned to trust in my ability to help and heal you, and to guide and protect you. You've learned to do what I ask of you, to internalize and apply what I teach you, and believe the promises I make to you."

"Looking back", I said with tears trickling down my cheeks, "I can see that it's been worth all the effort to overcome every obstacle and difficulty to get where I am today. I know I still have a long way to go, but now I have hope that I will get there."

"Thank you", He said as His eyes met mine. "Thank you for trusting me and never giving up. And don't worry...I'll be with you every step of the rest of the journey because I love you...and you matter to me."