On Moving Mountains

"My heart is really hurting," I said as God sat down beside me. He said nothing as He waited for me to continue. But the words I tried to speak were swallowed whole by the choking sobs erupting from my throat. Gently, He pulled me closer and wrapped His arm around my quaking shoulders.
It's a comforting thing to sit with God. I never have to worry what He's thinking about me.

"This isn't turning out the way I expected. I put such painstaking thought and effort and so. much. time into it. Yes, it was lopsided and messy because I'm really not that good at it. And there were times when I wondered if it was worth saving. But it was mine. I didn't hold back...I gave it my all. I spent a LOT of time observing others around me with theirs, to see if I could make adjustments and improvements...some were so amazing. Others were lacking but coming along pretty good with a little extra effort.  And there were some that cracked and began to crumble. It was interesting to witness some people pick up the pieces, while others chose to just walk away. I had high hopes for mine. But it exploded. BOOM! Just like that I was left with an unrecognizable mountain of rubble."

I stopped to catch my breath, but felt compelled to remain silent. There was no hurry to get my words out. God always sits with me for as long as I need Him to. It was a bittersweet moment as I found myself glancing at the nearly empty space that once occupied that mountainous pile of rubble, and realized I had, through an incredibly difficult process of sifting and sorting, literally "moved a mountain".

"You need to sit with this for awhile," God said. "There is much to be learned through observing not only what is before you, but what is inside of you as well. The pain in your heart serves a purpose. It makes you keenly aware of growth. Some day, when you look back on this experience from a new vantage point, you will appreciate the pain, which serves as a physical sign of change and progress and movement to a higher, holier ground."

God is my best friend. Every day He helps me see things in a different, better way. I'm so grateful that I am worthy of His time and patience. My heart is overwhelmed with the love He has for me, a seemingly insignificant, but oh so cherished, daughter of God. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (2nd Counselor in the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) said it best when he stated "Compared to God we are nothing...but to God we are everything." How that makes my heart sing!

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2013-01-002-earthly-father-heavenly-father?lang=eng

The Road Less Traveled

"We've been walking for so long. I'm exhausted and longing for rest. I don't want to just stop for a bit...I want to be done. Are you sure you know where you're taking me? I don't know how much longer I can go on. Can you just tell me how much further?"

 God stopped and turned to look at me. His eyes stared into my soul as we stood for a long moment in silence. "We still have far to go; there will continue to be much hardship and discomfort.You will experience pain and fatigue, and be required to climb over and around seemingly insurmountable obstacles. You don't have to take this journey; You may choose to stop and any moment. I will never force you to move on. If you decide to continue, you will find it necessary to recommit every day to move onward. I will never leave your side. You can lean on me for strength and support and we will make it to the end together."

When He finished speaking, He stood quietly and waited. The choice really was mine to make. There would be no pressure, no coercing, no belittling me for my decision. And He was in no hurry for my answer. He would wait for as long as I needed.

It is a very difficult journey. Some days I am filled with strength and peace; on others I am so conflicted and unsure. Some days I know He is there right beside me...I can feel His presence. On others I wonder if I've fallen too far behind, and He is unaware of the distance between us as He continues on; sometimes panic sets in and I begin to doubt my ability to go any further.

One day recently as I was driving my daughter to school, I couldn't help but notice the sky was filled with huge black clouds which seemed to be threatening to drown me in a downpour of freezing cold rain; the blatant lack of sunlight choked me with a gloomy despair until a most comforting thought came gently into my mind. "The sun is there even though you can't see it. And God is still with you though you can't see His light. Hang on. The clouds of life will surely come and go, but God is ALWAYS near." A sense of peace began to fill my heart. A gentle calm settled in my mind. And God's unconditional love encompassed my soul...giving me much needed strength to keep going for yet another day.