The Game of Risk

"Wait!" I said a little more impatiently than I had intended. "Just wait. I can't breathe."

Without a moment's hesitation, God turned around and traced His steps back to where I was standing. I couldn't hide my anxiety, or the fear I felt quickly flooding my insides before it burst out of my throat as a poorly disguised fit of anger.

I sat down hard and closed my eyes, wishing He couldn't see the fury of conflict assaulting my fragile heart. I knew where He was taking me. While the thought of proceeding evoked in me feelings of monumental distress, I couldn't dismiss the possibility for exhilaration when all was said and done. I was caught in a defining moment, knowing full well that my decision to face my fear or sprint hastily back to my comfort zone would ultimately determine my fate. With either choice came consequences I wasn't prepared to face. Time seemed to stand still as my head and my heart clashed in deafening silence.

"There will be many of these," God said. He seemed to understand my struggle, but gave no indication there was need for haste."...Moments when internal conflict will drive you to answer to the call for courage or shrink at the threat of fear. I know them well. You're not in it alone. I'll never walk away; I'll hold your hand, but the choice will always be yours."

Therein lies the conflict. Fear looms large and threatening, while courage lies deep and quiet...rising only when invited. There is risk in turning my back on fear; but God never fails to strengthen my voice...and courage never disappoints me.