Getting My Hands Dirty

"The work will proceed in stages" God said. "First we will sort through all this debris. We will salvage what we can, but you'll find some of it will have to be discarded. There are some things you need to be aware of before we start:

 1) Memories of what was may interfere with the process. A tendency to want to hang on to something familiar, no matter how torn or broken, is natural. But discarding is necessary to make room for the new and beautiful that is to come.

2)  The process is tedious. You will at times become impatient and may be tempted to "just have it all hauled away" and be done.

3)  There will be tears...tears of frustration, anger, sadness, grieving and even tears of regret. Do not fight them; let them come. Tears are healing for the heart and cleansing for the soul".

Memories are powerful. And what's familiar can sink it's claws into your heart so deeply that letting go feels like it's doing more damage than good. But God repairs the damage a little here and a little there, until the scars are only as noticeable as the first tiny snowflakes of winter falling from heaven.

And sometimes I grow so weary. "Putting it all behind me" and "moving on" would be a much simpler way. But experience has proven issues too hastily ignored result in loitering, bulging feelings of regret that horde precious space in the previously more quiet corners of my mind.

Tears have been unavoidable. At first, I never knew what would force them uncontrollably bursting from my eyes, splashing down the front of my well worn clothes. My heart was plunged into a conglomeration of emotion that left me feeling completely spent at best. However, the healing they have provided over time, has enveloped my mind and soul, giving me a peace that, in the beginning, I felt was out of reach.

It is true...there is much to sort through. And it is tedious. But I am making room, creating space for something new and beautiful almost beyond my ability to imagine. And God is smiling because I am finally starting to see what He saw from the very beginning.